


Overstepping the Line

by OnceUponADestiel (Jems_of_Grace)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Mild Angst, Mild Fluff, Oneshot, POV Castiel, Smut, Top!Cas, angel!cas - Freeform, bottom!Dean, dean/cas - Freeform, diminished grace!Cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-03-10 04:45:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3277217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jems_of_Grace/pseuds/OnceUponADestiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel has made a hobby of watching humanity and a habit of attempting to mimic their behavior, all in an attempt to fit in should he loose his grace again. One day he sees someone kiss their friend on the cheek as they say goodbye and without thinking about it, Castiel tries to replicate the gesture the next time he says goodbye to someone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Overstepping the Line

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the whole 'longing' thing. I actually found that really unsatisfying because all I could think was; if Cas can feel Dean 'longing' for him, why wouldn't he have done something about it? So I kind of wanted to fill in that gap.

Cas is sitting in a Biggerson's on his way back to the bunker to meet the Winchester brothers'. Despite his lack of need for refreshment, he had stopped for coffee. It has become a hobby more than anything - watching humanity. Coffee shops, cafés, diners and other fast food places are amongst his favorite locations to do just that. It just looks so normal, sitting at a table with a drink in front of him. No one bothers him and he can sit and observe all of their peculiar customs, their quirks and their mannerisms.

If observation is his hobby, then you might say he'd made a habit of mimicry. Trying to fit in with the rest of humanity, like a puzzle piece from the wrong jigsaw. But he had to try; it might one day be necessary, a means to survival. 

His grace, his borrowed grace, was diminishing, again... It would most likely burn out, taking everything that was Castiel along for the ride. It was only a matter of time. 

Or, maybe, he would Fall. If he became human again, it would almost certainly be permanent this time (at least, he must assume so) and after his brief stint at being human before, Castiel had realized that fitting in played a scarily vital role in staying alive. 

He decided he could spare fifteen minutes or so on his way to the bunker. For once there was no rush, no emergency that required his immediate attention and it was pleasant just to 'chill' as Dean might say. 

All around people were chatting away - there's a woman with a baby in a sling, cooing away as she drinks her mochaccino. A young couple, leaning close together over the tiny tabletop, exchanging intimate glances and whispered conversation over their shared hot chocolate. A group of teenagers, generating enough noise to make up for the quietness of the room's other occupants, joking and laughing with each other over their brightly colored frappuccinos. Two friends gossiping away as they finished off their lattés. 

As he watched, the friends got to their feet. One of them was saying goodbye, the other good luck and then they shared a quick hug before the one that was leaving pecked the other on the cheek and walked off, waving as she reached the door before exiting out onto the high street. The second lady sat back down and started fiddling around on her phone as she finished her drink. It was a perfectly ordinary exchange, no one batted an eyelid and Castiel was sure he'd seen it before but something about the way it was done struck a chord with him. It was so affectionate but not overly intimate. It said: I love you, thank you, goodbye, see you later, you know me better than anyone, you know all my secrets, best friends, forever and maybe a hundred other things but Castiel wasn't entirely sure... It was sweet and easy. Cas couldn't help smiling.

He sat for maybe another five minutes, casually monitoring the unsuspecting customers before making his way out to his car and travelling to the bunker. 

 

-

 

He reaches the bunker and it becomes clear within less than twelve hours that he is needed elsewhere and that the brothers can manage without him.

He has barely seen Sam anyway, he'd been holed up in the library for almost the entirety of his visit whilst Dean had sat around broodily, trying to find a case amidst a sea of unusually cheerful headlines and Cas knew that it was really just a distraction technique - anything to shake off the edge caused by that abominable mark on his arm. He'd noticed further changes in his friend on this visit - he was quick to anger (quicker than usual and about the most trivial of things) and he almost constantly had this haunted look in his eyes that caused Castiel a lot of pain to see. It was a look of vulnerability and self loathing. If you hadn't known the life he'd lived, you might say he looked like he'd seen a ghost. 

They had been sat at the table in the main room when Castiel had said that he needed to go. Dean looked a little irritable but he nodded and they stood together. Dean walked him up to the entrance. 

'I'll be gone a few days, maybe longer,' he'd said and Dean had nodded, only glancing at him before looking back down at his feet. 

'But you'll be back after that, right?'

'Right,' and then he wasn't quite sure what made him say it; '-but you can call me, if you need me before then. Or text!' he'd added as an enthusiastic after thought. 

Dean starred at him, surprised. It was such an un-Cas like thing to say! 'Okay, yeah. Thanks,' he couldn't explain to his friend exactly how much that meant to him so instead he enveloped him in a one armed hug. Cas grinned into his shoulder and then pulled back before pecking a light kiss to Dean's cheek.

Cas froze, lips still slightly pouted and he felt Dean freeze beneath them. He doesn't draw back, doesn't make a sound but Castiel immediately realizes his mistake. He feels as though he has overstepped the invisible line that has long been between them. 

Neither move for a second, Cas's lips still against Dean's skin and he can literally feel the waves of feelings rolling off him. Still Dean says nothing, not so much as a muscle ticks and in that moment Cas decides that he's had enough. He doesn't care anymore. He didn't know he was overstepping the line - that's true - but it is blatantly obvious now that he definitely has done and he isn't going back - not for anything. He's had enough.

Cas kissed Dean's cheek again.

'Cas?'

'I don't care, I don't care anymore,' he says in a low desperate growl. Dean made a peculiar noise in the back of his throat, his eyes fluttering closed for a second and Cas kissed him again but this time his lips landed to the side of Dean's mouth.

'Cas don't-' Dean protested weakly and Cas moved away ever so slightly, a questioning look in his eyes.

'Why?' 

'Cas - I just, can't-' '

'I know you want this too.'

'Cas!'

'I can feel it. Sense it - it's been there for ages and I've done my best to ignore it but it's been getting steadily worse-'

'So what - this is just some kind of pity thing?' Dean blurted out, looking away from Cas, his eyes a little wet.

Cas stared angrily at his friend. 'Do you really believe that?'

'I don't know anymore. Why would you-'

'I love you. I want you - all of you! You can't take that from me!' Cas kissed his face again, Dean's eyes closing again. He adds more small kisses to his cheeks, his forehead and to the lids of his eyes but still Dean remains frozen beneath him. 'Why won't you take this?'

'Fuck, Cas,' he says, eyes opening again, staring pleadingly at the angel. 'I want to so bad but-' Cas kisses his jaw, leaving a trail that snakes down his neck and feels Dean shiver beneath his touch.

Cas pulls back, staring hard at Dean. 'You're still not ready for this...' he mutters, more to himself than to Dean. Cas starts to move away, a frustrating sadness clinging to him but then Dean grabs onto his arm.

They both stare down at where his hand is grasping tightly. Dean looking just as surprised as Castiel - like he hadn't made a conscious decision to reach out.

Then Cas made a split second decision, there and then and he went for it; fitting their mouths together like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

Dean moaned into him, kissing back, hands encompassing Cas's face, desperate and clingy. He felt too weak to keep saying no when every particle of his body was screaming yes and if he was honest with himself, he'd had enough too. Enough of pretending that this wasn't what he wanted, that this wasn't how he felt. Enough of craving after something he wouldn't allow himself whether Cas would want it or not. Enough of giving a damn what others thought of him, of upholding a lame ass reputation that made him unhappy. Enough of giving so much of his life over to the greater good and getting nothing back in return... 

And Cas had known all of that, of course. That's why he had never acted even when Dean's longing for his nearness had spiraled out of him, coiling tendrils that wrapped around him, whenever he was close and whenever he was gone... He had understood Dean's reasoning; why he denied himself, even though he didn't always agree with it and out of respect, he'd held himself back. Even when his own longing was virtually tangible and every other angel could see it, clear as day...

But now they sank into each other, taking everything they were owed, making every second count after so many wasted years.

Dean pulled away breathlessly, a pleading look in his eyes as he said: 'Don't go.' 

'I'm not going anywhere,' he responded, a starved look in his eyes as he dived hungrily back onto Dean's lips and Dean was grinning into the kiss, hands roaming down his friend's chest, heading southwards and Cas could feel his head spinning, he couldn't get enough of this closeness and he hoped Dean was feeling it too. All these sparks finally finding an outlet after all these years. He ran his own hands down Dean's shirt, quickly ripping apart buttons in his eagerness to explore Dean's skin with his hands. Dean gasped slightly when he felt the warmth of Cas's fingers running firmly over his bare chest and he pressed forward eagerly, slipping his own hands under Cas's dress shirt but Cas was one step ahead of him, locking their hips together as he pushed him up against the wall, besides the bunker door. Dean remembered where they were and that his brother might walk out into the main room at any second. He'd only have to look up and he'd see them, sandwiched close together, mouths and hips connected, close. That was not how he wanted Sammy to find out!

'We should probably go to my room,' Dean said, breaking away from Cas just long enough to splutter out that sentence but Cas growled, literally growled and the sound shot straight to Dean's pants. Cas felt the muscle twitch against his leg. 

'We're not going anywhere!' he said, thrusting his hips slightly. Dean moaned out loud.

'Ca-aas!' 

'I've waited years for this. If you think I'm going to wait another second-' and okay that was kind of hot.

'But, Sam!'

'Fuck, Sam!' Dean stared slightly open-mouthed at his angel - he'd never heard him swear quite like that before. There was a kind of blue fire in his eyes, although the blue was largely drowned out by his lusty black pupils, and the fierce look on his face was making Dean's brain turn to jelly and his cock go rigid. 

'Rather you'd fuck me,' he said hoarsely.

Cas's pupils swelled, leaving only the finest blue circumference. Without looking away, he began to unfasten Dean's jeans. Dean swallowed. Cas smirked, a hand drifting straight down into Dean's boxer shorts. 

'Fuck!' he said again as Cas wrapped his hand firmly around Dean's heavy erection. His eyes fluttered close (all thoughts of Sam forgotten) as Cas began to pump him. It was perfect and if Dean didn't know better he'd have said that Cas was highly experienced in this kind of activity. He seemed to know exactly what he was doing, tugging and twisting, the perfect grip, tight but not too tight, thumb massaging down that central vein at the back and then rubbing over the top of his slit, swirling the pre-cum beneath his thumb print. A second hand entered, massaging over his balls and Dean heard himself groan again. It was actually kind of embarrassing, how good it was having Cas touch him like this. Cas watched Dean's face the whole time, eyes bright, mouth slightly open. 

'You know, you shouldn't say things like that, if you don't really mean it,' he said.

Dean opened his eyes and said a little recklessly. 'I meant it. Fuck, I want you so bad!' and he reached out a hand, pulling Cas's face back towards his own. Fingers carding through his dark hair as he kissed him deeply. Then he felt Cas's fingers, slicked up with pre-cum, beginning to wonder further down, past his balls, making little steps over his perineum and reaching their destination. Cas pressed one of his slicked up fingers up against Dean's hole, making him gasp. 'Fuck, Cas!'' he ignored him, doing it again, wriggling his fingertip in such a way, making Dean squirm beneath his touch and when he removed the finger Dean actually panted out irritably; 'You put that right back!' Cas chuckled and repeated the motion but this time, he let his finger dip in a little. Dean looked like he was holding his breath. Cas kissed him again, wanting Dean to relax into it but then he was pressing his finger in deeper, Dean's eyes wide open and then Cas began to move the finger in and out, scraping down his prostate. 'Oh! Oh, Cas! Fuck!' Cas did it again and again, entering a second finger and fucking Dean with them until he was slumped against the wall in a quivering mess. 

Then he was undoing his own pants, taking out his cock and thrusting it straight up against Dean's entrance. 

'Are you sure-'

'Fuck, Cas! Will you just fucking fuck me all ready?' Cas didn't need any further persuasion and he felt his cock slide slowly into Dean with little resistance. The finger-fucking had lubed him up real good. Dean was gasping and then Cas was thrusting. He tried to stay gentle but with Dean moaning and calling his name, it was difficult to keep his composure and he found himself fucking into Dean, hard and fast. Firmly holding onto Dean's cock the whole time so that Dean's eyes rolled into the back of his head and the noises coming out of his mouth became completely indistinguishable. And then he was cuming out over Cas's hand and Cas found himself involuntarily gasping out 'De - een!' as he came himself, shooting hard and collapsing against Dean's chest feeling utterly stunned, shaking with the come-down from his orgasm. Dean's chest was thumping underneath his face and eventually he found the energy to look up into his friend's face. 

He looked drained but there was a kind of sleepy smile playing about his face and Cas knew that that's what satisfaction looks like and was aware that he was probably wearing a similar expression. 'Where did you learn to do that?' Dean asked breathlessly.

Cas was confused. 'Learn?' he cocked his head to the side, 'I don't understand? What is to learn? I was under the impression that these things came naturally to humans and other mammals.' Dean laughed.

'Yeah, maybe,' he said out loud whilst secretly thinking that Cas was the best he'd ever had. His care-free expression disappeared slightly as he repeated what he'd said earlier; 'Don't go.' 

Cas didn't want to, he really didn't, he just wanted this moment to keep going but reality would always be waiting for them on the other side of the bunker doors. '-but I have to - the mark and Cain and-' Dean looked away and all that self-directed revulsion surfaced once more onto his face and Cas could feel something inside him screaming: No,no,no,no,no,no,no! This wasn't what was supposed to happen. Now they were together, everything should feel better but now it looked like he'd made things insufferably worse! And in a flash Cas realized exactly what it was Dean needed. He didn't need Cas out there, looking for a solution. That was a common mistake made in many relationships - a determination to fix things. What Dean needed was someone to be there for him, to not go, to remain a steady constant in his life. To accept him as he is, despite his flaws and not go running off, even to find an answer to their problems. The only way to resolve this would be to work together. This was where Cas really wanted to be anyway. 'I'll stay.'

Dean looked up at him again; a thread of hope marked clearly on his face and Cas knew he was making the right decision. 'Really?'

'Yes,' he reached out a hand cupping the side of Dean's face. 'I want to be here, with you. That can wait - we should probably work at it together anyway... another day... if you want to-' In answer, Dean closed the remaining gap and kissed his friend again. Cas smiled into the kiss, this was so easy - why had they waited so long?

Dean tucked himself away, fastening up his jeans, before making Cas look more presentable too. Cas watched him, warmth filling his heart and then spreading out through the rest of his body until he practically radiated with it. Then Dean took his hand and guided him back down the stairs, Cas following without a word.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this - I really hope you enjoyed it! Would really love for people to leave comments or whatever below. Thanks so much, Jems xxx
> 
> (P.S. You can find me on Tumblr at: onceuponadestiel - feel free to browse and leave me a message :) Jems x)


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